The light we lost
by NightElle
Summary: Hogwarts has always offered a certain kind of hope and protection from the blood war that raged on beyond the Castle walls. Willow Easthope's innocence was destroyed as she encountered first-hand devastation caused by war. As the war rages on, so do the ever-changing moods of the teenagers, they will mess up and fall in love. But a darkness is soon to follow. Jily and eventual SBOC


**5****th**** September 1977**

Monday.

Let's do this.

Willow Easthope rolled out of bed and hurried to the bathroom.

This year would be hers she thought as she turned on the shower. That's right new year, new start and given the shamble the past five years had been, she was determined to make some positive life changes, starting with being on time to breakfast.

After a short time of applying makeup and charming her hair dry, Willow hurried back into the dormitory to get dressed, singing tunelessly to herself as she rooted for her Uniform in her trunk, which caused the other girls in the dormitory to start stirring.

Lily Evans began to sit up in her bed looking at Willow with a puzzled look on her face.  
"Good morning my flaming haired Goddess of a bestie, I trust you slept well" Willow sang, as the pulled out the shoe she was looking for. "Ah hah! I did pack you!" she muttered as she put it on.

"Willow, what are you do – Did I sleep through breakfast?!" she gasped jumping out of bed and hurrying to the bathroom, "You could have woken me, you cow!" she shouted. Willow rolled her eyes and sighed as she walked towards the floor length mirror to make sure that she looked at least a little bit presentable.

The bathroom door clicked open and Lily stuck her head out of the door, her emerald green eyes squinting at Willow suspiciously "It's only seven in the morning" she stated, walking slowly towards her best friend. Willow mimicked Lily in a high-pitched voice, "I am aware of the time, Evans. I just wanted to try to not repeat any of the previous five years here at old wartyhogs, starting with not over-sleeping" she shrugged.

"Whatever Easthope, you probably just shit yer bed" Marlene Mackinnon snickered Willow spun around from the mirror narrowing her eyes, before Marlene could register the scorn on Willow's face she was almost suffocated as her bushy haired friend pounced upon her.

"You know what?" Willow said as a matter of fact, "there is a foul odor omitting from this area of the room Marley are you sure you haven't in fact defecated yourself?" sniffing her friend and feigning to gag. Marlene shoved Willow, "Gerrof me you big ginger oaf" she huffed.

"Girls!" Lily reprimanded "Need I remind you, we are now in our sixth year, surely we can leave this type of childish behaviour to the firsties and –"  
"The Marauders" Willow and Marlene said in unison rolling their eyes  
"Arsed-faced miscreants more like" Marlene scoffed, pulling herself out of bed and beginning to ready herself for the day  
"Purveyors of mischief, my left tit!" Willow giggled  
Lily pinched the bridge of her nose, "honestly, you two are worse than the four of them put together sometimes!"

Willow wrinkled her nose at Lily's comment, she grabbed her wand from her bedside table and walked towards the dormitory door. "I will meet you down in the great hall, I want to make sure there's actually bacon left for once" she called skipping out of the room.

Marlene and Lily looked at one another in amusement.  
"I wonder how long this new Willow will last." Marlene smirked as pulled on her tights  
"Well I for one think she deserves one good year at Hogwarts…" Lily hummed "Especially after the Summer she's had."  
"Has she spoken much about it to you" Marlene asked, Lily shook her head.  
"Oh lord," Marlene sighed, picking up her satchel "she is but an emotional timebomb." 

Willow gulped down her pumpkin juice as she looked over her NEWT timetable, deep in thought as to how she was going to fit all the studying in around all the lessons she had chosen to take this year. Double potions? On a Monday morning? Willow suddenly began cursing her ambitious choices for NEWT level and felt her Monday motivation dwindling away. She frowned and made a grab for some more bacon. It wasn't as though she wasn't capable to achieve and succeed in this year, it is more so that she was incredibly clumsy and somewhat unlucky.

"Why do you look like you're in pain, Easthope?" asked an amused looking Remus Lupin. Willow startled by the voice bringing her back down to earth shook her head and smiled at Remus "Oh you know, just thinking about how much work this year will involve. I will get over it, I just need to be a bit dramatic first" she winked. Remus chuckled and began to say something only to be interrupted as Lily and Marlene sat either side of their friend and began engaging in an animated discussion about Celestina Warbeck's recent appearance on the Wireless Witching Network's witching hour.

Remus smiled and turned his attention back to his own friends who were having their own energetic conversation about Quidditch techniques. James Potter briefly looked up from the conversation, his eyes widened as he caught sight of Lily's fiery red hair, he licked his lips before clearing his throat.

"I didn't have you pegged for a fan of Celestina Warbeck, Lily" James smiled. Lily stopped dead in conversation and sighed quietly to herself, "Now you do, Potter".

James looked at her thoughtfully before pulling out a piece of parchment and a quill from the pocket of his robes and began scribbling down something. Lily watched him from the corner of her eyes and couldn't help but wonder what on earth he was doing, she chose to ignore him and began serving herself some scrambled eggs on toast. But she continued to watch James secretly, bracing herself for the moment in which he made an arse of himself.

That moment, however, did not come.

After another five minutes of incessant scrawling, James Potter pocketed his parchment and took a swig of his pumpkin juice before bidding the girls goodbye.

Lily turned to look at Willow and Marlene, who wore equally as confused expressions.  
Willow was twirling a strand of hair around her finger deep in thought, "Perhaps I'm not the only one wanting a fresh start this year Lils."

Lily watched James Potter exit in the Great Hall and couldn't help but wonder if Willow was right.

The first week back to school had gone smooth sailing, if Willow did say so herself. She was only late to one lesson so far, and that was only because her foot got caught in a trick step. She had to be saved by Filch, who muttered something about hanging her up by her ankles for wasting his valuable time. Other than that single isolated incident, Willow had managed to keep on top of all her homework and exceled in most lessons with no major incidents to report.

It had proven that keeping herself busy was key in stopping the ever-haunting memories of this Summer. This is not to say she had not noticed the side glances from her peers, or the pitiful looks Lily and Marlene shared with one another when they thought she wasn't watching. Willow shook her head as if to shake away the dark thoughts creeping in and cleared her throat to fight away the lump that was forming.

I will not break, not today.

Willow rolled up her essay on cross-figure transfiguration and stuffed it into her rucksack. Lily looked up from her own scroll of parchment blowing hair out of her face, "Are you finished already, Low?" she asked.  
Willow sighed knowing full well that Lily sensed something wasn't right.  
"I just need to get some fresh air. I mean this bloody library" Willow chuckled, "It is so stuffy it smells like pork from all the humans in here festering away and it's beginning to make me hungry, which is causing me a bit of distress really because well, I don't think I like Human limbs all that much"

Lily looked at Willow mildly amused, she knew her best friend better than she knew her own sister and knew the girl was hiding behind her sense of humour. Lily began to lean over to hold Willow's hand. She was going to try and get Willow to open up, it wasn't healthy to not talk.

The moment was short lived as someone burst out laughing, Lily looked over to see James Potter leaning against one of the nearby shelves. "You are probably the most dramatic person I have ever met, and I live with Sirius Black" James shook his head and smiled.

"Ah yes, how could we forget that you live with your fellow – what do they call each Willow?" Lily asked her friend; they shared a knowing look.  
"Is it the Musketeers?" Willow asked, stroking her chin. James barked with laughter.  
"Oh no," Lily smirked "that sounds far too roguish and manly, I think it was something uninventive like – oh I don't know it is on the tip of my tongue though" Lily looked around the room pretending to recall the name, and clicking her fingers for added effect.  
"I know!" Willow exclaimed "The munchkins!"  
"You took the words right out of my mouth," Lily giggled "The munchkins, yes. How could we forget that you live with them?"

James cocked an eyebrow towards the two redheads, "Are you quite finished?" he asked coolly "I came on behalf of a fellow Marauder actually"  
"You mean munchkin, but do continue" Willow smirked, she could physically see James biting his tongue in order not to take the bait.  
"Yes well, as I was saying –"James began  
"I like to imagine that you do midnight tickle fights, with your fellow munchkins" Lily mused, taking far too much enjoyment on winding James up for a change.  
"Merlin's beard, Evans! We don't tickle each other, and we aren't Munch –"James scowled, although a sudden realization flashed through his head, and the scowl transformed into a smirk "Do you imagine me often, Evans?"  
Lily's cheeks flushed a slight pink, "Only your untimely death, Potter. Now what do you want"  
James smirked, "Yeah well just to let you know, Remus won't be available for your prefect round this evening, he has been taken ill and had to go to the hospital wing. Pommie asked me to pass on the message."  
"Thanks Potter" Lily smiled "Tell Remus I said to feel better."  
James saluted her and walked off through the aisles of books.

Lily shook her head and returned to her parchment, smiling as she replayed the conversation over in her head. She could feel someone watching her and is she lifted her head up she met her best friend's stormy grey eyes, alive with mischief.  
"Since when did you of all people blush around James bloody Potter?" Willow grinned  
"Yeah well, he's just been less of a git recently and besides I get a bit of a thrill in winding him up for once" Lily shrugged  
Willow sat back in her chair, smirking "Interesting" she stated  
"Oh piss off, I thought it smelled of pork in here and you were leaving?" Lily chided sticking out her tongue.

Willow stood up and started to ready herself to leave "Yes well, it did and now it smells like bullshit because you definitely have the beginnings of a crush, catch you on the flipside Lily" she leant towards her friend's ear and whispered "_Potter"_  
Lily swatted at Willow, "Blasphemy, good child. Seven hail Morganas" she giggled  
Willow kissed her cheek, "Love you" she said and skipped off out of the library, before Lily had the chance to remember she was bottling things up. 

Willow slowed down as she left the library and began to wander down the corridors of the Castle lost in thought. She really wasn't ready to talk about things yet. There was a lot of speculation after the incident this Summer, and she wasn't sure if she could be bothered to hear people's theories on the matter.

In the early hours of 10th August 1977, Willow's Father, Bram Easthope used the Cruciatus curse on her and her Mother for 12 hours straight. Aurors eventually flooded the scene and sent Bram to Azkaban, whilst arranging for Willow and her mother, Bette to be apparated to St. Mungo's hospital for treatment.

Healers told Willow she was one of the most resilient witches they had ever encountered, to survive that amount of torture and to come away unscathed.

Her mother was not so resilient and a week later it had been confirmed that Bette Easthope had lost her mind, and that there was no reversal on the damage her father had caused. Willow left her Mother in the care of the Healers at St Mungo's. The memory of her own mother, cradling a doll and drinking pretend cups of tea was burned into her memory.

Bette Easthope was a proud woman; a true Gryffindor. And a bloody good unspeakable too. It broke Willow's heart to see such a magnificent and strong woman be reduced to a child-like state by someone who was supposed to love and protect her.

Willow fled to Cokeworth upon leaving St Mungo's, where she lived at Lily's for the remainder of the Summer. Lily didn't ask any questions as to why Willow was there, she just made her up a spare bed, and soothed her in the night when the night-terrors began. She didn't even push her to talk about it when The Daily Prophet, of course had given a two-page feature with pictures and all.

She had no one left, her Brother hadn't bothered to write or come home on hearing the news. Not that she could blame him, really. But she couldn't help but to feel angry that the coward had left her here to deal with the fall out all on her own.

Before all of this, she was Willow Easthope. Taunted by her peers for being hopelessly forgetful and clumsy. She was even given a rather of unfortunate nickname of "No-Hope" by James Potter following a few several mishaps he and the rest of the marauders had been witness to. But now, half the people looked at her like she was delicate just waiting for her to break and the other half looked at her in fear suspecting she too was a follower of Voldemort.

Willow furiously wiped away the tears threatening to spill down her face and stormed to the Owlery. She penned a letter, not caring what she said, her brother deserved to know what devastation was going on back here for her.

She quickly folded up the letter and stuffed it into the envelope and went to find her large tawny owl, Hector. "Send this to Abel Easthope. And do not leave until he gives you a reply." She commanded.

Hector hooted as if he understood, and Willow watched as he flew through the evening sky.

Willow carried herself to the Gryffindor tower. She gave the password to the fat lady and walked through the common room to her dormitory. She was exhausted. She let out a sigh of relief as she entered her dormitory. Willow climbed into her bed, pulling the covers over her head where she finally released every single emotion she had bottled up for the last month.

She cried.  
For her Mother.  
For her Father.  
For her lost innocence.  
For the fear of what happens next.

Willow didn't feel Lily or Marlene climb into her bed; it wasn't until she was engulfed in a cuddle from either side that she realized she had company.

"I think I'm finally ready to talk now" she sobbed.

The three girls laid there in the darkness of the dormitory, as Willow explained the horrors of that night. They wept together and held each other for the rest of the night. 


End file.
